What Aphrodite's Business Trips are Actually For
by Knightlark
Summary: Because Aphrodite will do anything to keep her OTPs together.


**Hey guys! I was looking through one of my old journals, and I found this little one-shot about Aphrodite that I wrote a couple years back. I figured I'd post it for y'all. Hope you enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own PJO and doubt I ever will.**

Aphrodite was not happy.

Not the, " _I-hate-the-ending-of-the-Bachelor_ " mad, or even, " _Hephaestus-caught-Ares-and-I-again-and-now-I've-been-humiliated-_ _and_ _-he-messed-up-my-hair-"_ mad. No, the goddess was well and truly infuriated.

And somebody was going to pay.

She stormed into DOA Recording Studios, her rage radiating off of her in a swirl of glittery pink sparkles. Aphrodite shoved her way past despondent ghosts waiting for passage as her favorite red pumps clicked angrily across the tile floor. As she stomped up to the receiving desk, something caught her eye and momentarily distracted her from her fury- that is, until her suspicions were confirmed and it increased ten-fold.

"Charon," she gritted out, "What. Are. You. Wearing?"

At least the doorman had the good graces to look properly terrified. "My-my lady, it's today's fashion- I mean, not to say that you wouldn't know, but, I mean, it's -it's Italian."

"What?" she practically shrieked. _Calm down, calm down. Scowling isn't worth the wrinkles._ "Charon," she said in a voice positively dripping in saccharine, "that is _not_ Italian. That is a cheap off-the-street knock-off, and if you value this job and any after it I strongly suggest that you burn that thing you call a suit and you _better_ be wearing something decent next time I come back. Honestly, Charon, show some decorum. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes-yes, my lady."

"Good. Now, I need to speak with Hades."

"I'm sorry, Aphrodite, but you do not have an appointment and I simply cannot allow-"

"Say that again."

"You-you do not have an appointment and I can't let anyone in, you see-"

"No, Charon, I don't see. Now, open the elevator and let me in."

"But-"

"Now, or I will personally see to it that Hades assigns you to Cerberus' kennel duty."

"Yes, Lady Aphrodite."

Ω

One nasty, smelly boat ride across a nasty, smelly river later, Aphrodite continued her previous rampage throughout the palace of the Underworld, screeching for Hades at the top of her lungs. Finally, he appeared. He laid his eyes on the goddess and wrinkled his nose.

"Ugh, it's you. What do you want this time, Aphrodite?"

"You and I have an issue, Hades."

"Yes, we do, and it's that you're standing in my castle, not back on Earth playing with Barbie dolls or fangirling over bad TV shows or _whatever_ it is that you do these days."

Her eyes flashed. "Do _not_ push today, Corpse Breath."

"My castle, my rules," he retorted.

"Oh, very mature."

"That's funny, coming from you."

She closed her eyes and counted backwards from fifty as she tried desperately not to strangle Hades. _Ichor stains do not come out easily. And besides, you just had your nails done yesterday morning._

"Do you know why I'm here?" She asked icily.

"How cliché. Really, Aphrodite, I thought you were above this."

She tightened her lips and ignored the jibe. "You need to fix something."

"Oh yeah? And what would that be? Let me take a guess- you want me to redecorate the foyer."

"Well, that too. But no! This is about Silena and Beckendorf!" She wailed. "I just found out that one of my favorite daughters and her soulmate have been denied rebirth!"

Hades sighed and said, "Look, Aphrodite. Silena was a traitor and didn't make the cut. There's a waiting list for these kinds of things, you know. And besides, Beckendorf isn't even here. His soul is currently haunting Cabin 9."

She moved towards the lord of the dead and poked him in the chest. "I don't care what it takes, but you better fix this."

"Sorry, Aphrodite, but believe it or not I gotta follow rules too."

"Do whatever needs to be done, but I promise you this: if one of the most perfect couples since Percabeth doesn't get rebirth together, I'll tell Persephone about that woman you're seeing in-"

Hades quickly stepped forward and covered Aphrodite's mouth. "Not so loud," he hissed. He closed his eyes and winced. "But fine. I'll do what I can to put the brats at the top of the waiting list just please- _don't tell Persephone."_

The goddess's countenance immediately brightened. "Yay! Thank you thank you thank you!" She jumped up and down like an excited fangirl (which, Hades thought, she kinda was). She gave Hades a hug and bounced out the door. "Oh, and Hades," she paused and looked back, "Don't call my daughter a brat."

Ω

Later at dinner, the lord of the Underworld was trying desperately to forget the ordeal. That goddess gave him one heck of a migraine, and he didn't think gods even _got_ those.

"I heard that Aphrodite stopped by," Persephone spoke up, "What did she want?"

Hades inwardly groaned and rolled his eyes. "Oh, the usual, dear, rebirth for another 'OTP' of hers."

"I bet she didn't take it well when you turned her down for the umpteenth time. How'd she react this time?"

"Oh, well, I, um, decided to humor her this time."

Persephone choked on her glass of nectar. "You-you did? Well that's…nice. How'd she talk you into that?"

If Hades had any color in his cheeks it would have drained out. "No reason, honey, just doing something nice for once."


End file.
